This Week's Doggerel
Ogden Nash, Hoskin's bash and The Clash
June 3, 2024
The Tycoon
by Ogden Nash
The business life of Mr. Musial
is, to say the least, unusual.
First base, outfield, restaurant, bank,
All are home to Stanley Frank.
One moment, slugger of lethal liners,
The next, mine host to hungry diners,
And, between the slugging and the greeting,
To the bank for a directors’ meeting.
Yet no one grudges success to Stan,
Good citizen and family man,
Though I would love to have his job…
One half tycoon, one half Ty Cobb.
June 3, 2024
Headline Grabber
by Fred Lovato
Shohei steals a base
his hundredth in MLB
trumps all other news
June 4, 2024
Dear Facundo
by Jim Siergey
He played in just 69 games,
Of obscurity he was a paragon
But he had one of my favorite names:
Rest in peace, Cuno Barragan.
June 20, 1932 — May 12, 2024
June 5, 2024
You Really Can’t Go Home Again
by Michael X. Ferraro
Rhys Hoskins’ first game back in Philly
was a definite “all-the-feel”-er.
Tears in the dugout, hugs with Harper,
and he hammered like Hank off Wheeler.
Chuckles and winks when he swiped second,
to the shock of JT Realmuto.
But an unwelcome visitor back at home–
laid low by a sweet Rojas throw.
June 6, 2024
What is Learned After a Drought
by Sebastian Hunter
In a ring of northern suburbs, a lead
is maintained well into the bottom of the
ninth. You and that horse
you rode in on share the same sad
face, both half-hearted and feasting
on outfield grass. In every ballpark
across the continental States, a looping
ball finds cushion in the field
below a quintessentially gibbous moon
and a night expanding ceaselessly.
Sebastian Hunter is a writer, musician, and perennially disappointed Mariners fan from Seattle. He is previously unpublished.
June 7, 2024
Throw the (Sports) Book at Him
by James Finn Garner
Now we’ve missed our chance to know
Of Tucupita Marcano
He wasn’t the next DiMaggio
But not everyone can be a hero
MLB said he’s got to go
For treating his phone like a casino
The bets he made — 400 or so —
Made his sportsbook dime him, bro!
Betting is here to stay, so
Get used to stories like Marcano’s
Owners love nothing but centavos
Ruined lives are the quid pro quo
June 8, 2024
MLB All-New-Wave Team
1B Pop Joy Division
2B Echo and the Bunnyman Downs
SS Split Enzo Hernández
3B Jimmie Fixx
LF Cars Yastrzemski
CF Denard Spandau Ballet
RF Max Flack of Seagulls
C Tuffy Darts Gosewisch
LHP Jesse English Beat, Roberto Durán Durán
RHP Louis Talking Head, Vern Tears for Fear, Dave Soft Sells
MGR Blondie Purcell
