This Week's Doggerel

As May begins, two coaches get to spend more time gardening

James Finn Garner

May 02, 2026

April 27, 2026

FHABTO

by Dr. Rajesh C. Oza

Are five heads
Better than one?

The SF Giants must think so,
Supporting Tony Vitello
With four former managers—
None, like him, Joe Collegers.

Baseball big heads that Tony can poach?
Jayce Tingler is the Bench Coach;
Ron Washington is the Infield Coach;
Trusted advisors include Baker and Boche.

Moneyballers might use a decision tree
To address chance, cost and utility.
But Giants ballplayers will surely see
Lineups and rotations made by Tony V.

April 28, 2026

Clerihew for Alex Cora

by James Finn Garner

Alex Cora
Maybe didn’t have a winning aura,
But while the Boston finger-pointing will get kooky,
Alex wasn’t the guy who traded Mookie.

April 28, 2026

Orange and Blues

By Jordan Simpson (@jrsimpsonmusic on X)

Since Substack still doesn’t allow creators to embed tweets from X, you can enjoy Jordan’s song by traveling to either that site or Bardball.com.

April 29, 2026

Upper Tank

by Lawrence Miles

In the good old days
you could get a seat in the upper deck and stretch out

I would sit in the 300s behind home plate
while the upper deck in the outfield would be nearly empty
except for one kid in each row
waiting for a foul ball
all lined up in the starters blocks maybe eight across

Like the old midway game
looking to grab that foul ball
until one kid held it high to a rousing ovation
three or four times a game
mostly in left field since most batters were righties

Now there are new ballparks with less seats
no room to stretch out
no one paying attention unless some loudmouth starts the wave
and when a ball is fouled into the stands
some well-fed white male reaches under his seat
shows it off like he was Willie Mays
and there do not seem to be any teenage kids
having the time of their lives
waiting patiently in the upper deck for their prize

Growing old is the devil’s worst trick.

Lawrence Miles is a poet living in White Plains, NY. He has recently been published in All Your Poems Magazine, Molecule and Maintenant. Additional work can be found at lawrencemiles.substack.com.

April 30, 2026

April Progress Report: Heartland Edition

by James Finn Garner

America’s health, in case you wondered,
Is fine, with the NL Central all over .500

Things are fizzing in Milwaukee
Thanks to Jacob Misiorowski

Addison and Clark’s a rocking corner
With PCA, Bregman, MoBall and Hoerner

With Skenes and Chandler on the hill,
Pittsburgh again is showing steel.

The Reds have stopped singing the blues
With the bats of Stewart and De La Cruz

Even the Redbirds are flying high
(Though beware the heat in mid-July)

Homegrown rookies, grizzled vets,
Bud, apple pie, corn and Corvettes,
Flyover country’s as good as it gets
And if we fail, more cheaply than the Mets.