This Week's Doggerel
The ghost autograph of Pedro Ramos, and lotsa All-Star Clerihews!
July 13, 2026
All-Star Clerihews #1: Fightin’ Clerihews
Paul Skenes
Abhors blue jeans.
He’d rather stay au courant
With Yves Saint Laurent.
Dillon Dingler
Couldn’t sit through watching The Tingler.
He gets the willies from Vincent Price,
To be precise.
Braxton Ashcraft
Dreams of building a raft
And floating downstream, trusting luck
Like Jim and Huck.
Shea Langoliers
Despite his tender years
Is simply enthralled
By Lauren Bacall.
July 13, 2026
All-Star Clerihews #2: Flamin’ Clerihews
Yoshinobu Yamamoto
Screams like a mofo
When he puts on Nine Inch Nails or Megadeth
Metal AF!
Kyle Schwarber
Planted grape arbors
All over his backyard
Going for muscatel hard.
Byron Buxton
Once caught a f*ck-ton
Of lake trout
With a pal up near Minot.
Travis Bazzana
Is versed in mystic arcana.
How else to get the drop
On the next batter up?
If You Love Jim Siergey’s Artwork…
(And I don’t see why you wouldn’t)
remember that Bardball’s postcard set featuring his drawings for the Nickname Hall of Fame is available to annual subscribers. El Mago is in there, as well as The Mad Hungarian, Scrabble and The Freak!
You can also buy them for $7 by emailing me at bardball@gmail.com. Order today!
July 15, 2026
All-Star Clerihews #3: Flashin’ Clerihews
Kevin McGonigle
Devours the SF Chronicle
Because most of his portfolio is
In the tech biz.
Ernie Clement
Has a foundation to prevent
The scourge of foot fungus
Among us.
Cam Schlittler
Has been working on his splittler
To add to his arsenal
Of clurves and breakling balls.
Jacob Latz
Knows every song in Cats.
The other Rangers live in dread of a reprise
of “Mr. Mistoffelees”.
July 16, 2026
All-Star Clerihews #4: Flailin’ Clerihews
Tristan Peters
Is not a picky eater.
From a shaksuka pizza to anchovy-mango buns,
He’ll try anything once.
Raisel Iglesias
Thinks his brother-in-law is the laziest
SOB in the world.
He should meet my cousin Earl.
Joe Ryan
Has been tryin’ and tryin’
To get the Wordle in two
But it’s insanely hard to do.
Dylan Cease
Can be quite the tease.
On every road trip,
He has a rubber snake packed in his kit.
July 17, 2026
Autograph
by Peter Mladinic
Pedro Ramos signed
my piece of paper
as he boarded a bus.
A teammate of
Washington Senators
ace Camilo Pascual,
Pedro was the fastest
running pitcher
in the Majors.
His name on a thin
blue line is gone,
but I still have the diary
I kept beside it
in a drawer,
one entry from the day
after rock n’ roller
Buddy Holly died
in a plane crash.
