This Week's Doggerel
Hirings, firings and mercenary resurrections
May 12, 2025
Legal Advice
by Ray Kroc
I signed Oscar Gamble
on the advice of my attorney.
I no longer have Oscar Gamble,
and I no longer have my attorney.
Ray Kroc owned the San Diego Padres from 1974 to 1984. A former milkshake machine salesman, he also made McDonald’s a successful business.
May 13, 2025
Rocky Mountain Bye
by Michael X. Ferraro
So, Bud Black’s been “relieved of his duties”
At the helm of a club that has cooties.
Those woeful Rockies decline
Toeing the Dick Monfort line,
Yet the owner claims they’re sleeping beauties.
May 14, 2025
Showboat
by Wayne F. Burke
When I played baseball my
nickname was “Showboat,” because
I played to the crowd;
made “Fancy Dan” catches, throws;
a little show, not the big; I did not
make it that far. Small potatoes:
Farm League to American Legion ball
in the bushes of rough diamonds
cut from woods where people sat
on hoods of cars to watch…
Fate tagged me out in form of
a prancing baseball coach who
cut me from the high school team;
the baseball gods picked me off, took the
ball out my hand, sawed my bat
in halves, shredded my Frank Malzone model
fielder’s glove…
An Achilles without his weapons is but
another has-been.
May 14, 2025
The Heck With Rule 21 (d)
by Fred Lovato
MLB proclaims
freedom from consequences
standards meaningless
May 15, 2025
Clerihews for Our Soiled Age
Shoeless Joe
Didn’t conspire to throw
The Series, but did take the cash
And watched his career turn to ash.
Charlie Hustle
Could’ve pulled a muscle
From the bets placed, the lies told
And the victimhood sold.
Rob Manfred
Knows who butters his bread.
Money flowing in from DraftKings
And the filthy hand of Trump in everything.
Art by Jim Siergey. Visit his Threadless shop for more.
May 16, 2025